… my needle therapy had barely begun when the topic of the “Mandela effect” came up. Before that day, I had never heard of such a thing…

I’ll go out on a limb and suggest that the title of this piece may have turned a few heads. So, now that I have your attention, I’m going to tee up (pun most definitely intended) a few thoughts about how I’ve learned to be a more positive person by sucking at golf.

It’s been a week or so since the big snow hit town. When I say, “big snow,” I’m talking big for Nashville. We saw about eight inches where I live, an amount that evokes ridicule from my friends back in Western New York. But here, eight inches might just as well be the end of days.

Where to begin? I think I’ve had several variations of this conversation over the years, but to this point, I have no resolution. That’s right. At the ripe old age of 53 years, 9 months, and 3 days, I’m still not really sure why swear words are swear words.

I travel much more for this job than I thought I would. And while I don’t really love all the nonsense that comes with air travel these days, I have to confess it has some advantages. No, I’m not talking about frequent flier miles. Although those don’t suck either. I’m talking about observing the human condition.

I marched in my very first Pride parade this year. Yes, it was back in June, but it’s taken me a day or 60 to process all my feelings around the event. Or maybe it’s 75 days. Either way, it’s more than I wanted it to be.

I started age-appropriate procedures about 7 years early, at 43. And while the result was good, the experience was significantly below average. So, when my doctor advised we go back to the well at 53, well... let’s say I was less than excited.

I have to admit, I felt some butterflies stepping onto the ice with gear for the first time in eight years. I had been on skates exactly twice since my orthopedic surgeon told me to find a new hobby.

Let’s rewind to the beginning, to the idea of a week-long writing and yoga retreat on a farm outside Lisbon. Writing? That seems right up my alley. Sure, it’s a different kind of writing. Time-boxed. Introspective. With reading out loud to add just a pinch of terror. But okay.

This episode of the United Airlines shit show (considering the all-star level ineptness we experienced, I can’t imagine they haven’t had lots of practice at this) featured starring roles from several well-intended employees, an unlikely hero, and a cameo from the good people at TSA in Newark.

The sad truth—as many of us stumbled upon today—is that the road to hell isn’t paved at all. It’s a too-narrow-for-a-normal-car-rocky-lined-with-thorns-on-both-sides dirt path in the middle of fucking nowhere, Portugal.

Amanda Morgan asked me to write a feature article for Older Americans Month. So, I guess that makes me an older American. But, if I may borrow a retort from the Dread Pirate Roberts... “only compared to some.”

I agreed to write this because I like Mandy. Plus, it’s rare I get to write something for work that I can also republish on my personal site. And, well, I’ve encountered some very cool seniors in my life, and it feels good to tell a story or two about a few of them.

I remember the day we got her from Happy Tails. We met a handful of dogs that day. We walked with a few. And they all seemed nice. Then Jake noticed this smallish girl just laying in her crate. People walked by as though she were invisible. Young Jake pointed, and asked “What about that one?”

fond memories of one of the strongest influences from my childhood. i’ll miss you.

I know what you’re thinking. Costco is a store. A big store. You don’t win at a store. You go there. You buy things. You go home. There’s no winning. No losing. That’s where you’re wrong.

quite possibly my new favorite state and future address.

I’ve often told people using a touchpad or those imaginary on-screen letters & numbers feels a lot like typing with mittens to me. I can’t make the cursor go where I want it to go and my fingers always manage to touch two keys at once. That would be okay, but why does my screen always—I mean always—choose the wrong key?

So, I looked on the wall in my kitchen—that’s where I keep Jake’s recipe—and went to work. I chopped up the vegetables with my fancy new knife. Just about everyone who knows me at all knows I have a bit of a fascination with good knives. And Wusthof makes great knives.

You hear it, right? I mean, you do if you’re my age, plus or minus five years. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me!”

It’s the snappy comeback our parents taught us to sing at our frenemies when we were kids. And it worked right up until someone decided to pick up a stick or a stone.

So I was out for a walk this morning with my friend, Neil Diamond. Neil and I aren’t close like Barry Manilow and I are, mind you. Neil doesn’t send me email. He just sings to me sometimes. And he reminds of the days when life was a lot simpler.

Summer has officially begun, which means we’re also into grilling season. Even in a socially-distant barbecue, you have to have your condiments straight. Enter me, with the only post you’ll ever need about which condiments to include on your picnic table, even if you’re the only one sitting there.

This is going to be a fairly radical departure from what you’re used to seeing from me. I don’t usually write about things as serious as this. Well, that’s not exactly true. I write about serious things all the time; I just don’t often publish them. It’s my way of processing situations I find stressful, painful, or otherwise distasteful. And truth be told, I think I’m better at writing than speaking. I still ramble—my favorite “editor” once described my writing style as “breezy”—but I try to do it in an accessible way. Anyway, if you’ve read my stuff before, then maybe buckle up. It’s about to get much more raw than you may be expecting.

This isn’t some contrived Ric Flair versus Hulk Hogan thing where depending on the organization, you know which one will win. There’s no babyface versus heel thing here. Both Pauls seems to be genuinely good guys. Both have histories littered with awards, accolades, admiration, and adoration. Both played lead roles on their teams and have successful solo careers. But in this writer’s humble opinion, one is clearly superior. I’m speaking, of course, of the Pauls, McCartney and Simon.

Sometimes it takes a while for things to sink in. So, I decided to wait 18 months before writing a second piece about the music I’ve missed while my extensive CD collection and I were resting comfortably under a rock.

Do you remember your first coach? I’m not talking about a sports coach. Not necessarily. It could be, but it doesn’t have to be. For me, a coach is someone who sees your gifts and encourages you to use them. Someone who sees your gaps and helps you fill them. Someone who sees your potential and guides you toward it.

My first coach was my grandmother. I write about her a lot because she was awesome. Think of the most awesome person you know. Then apply a factor of 10. That would be her.

I should probably start by saying this will likely make some of my dearest friends… cranky. But please leave the knife in the cheese (unless you want some cheese) and play along, okay? Okay.

I’ve really been trying to avoid writing about politics. Mostly because there are people I care deeply for with very strong views on both ends of the spectrum, even if some of them believe they’re moderate. And partly because I’ve actually been enjoying some political discussion—the texts and conversations I have with my son during the Democratic debates.

To me, beauty lives inside a person. It makes itself known through their eyes, and more obviously, their mouths.

A smile is often the first thing I see in someone. Does it appear genuine? Is it so big it takes up the person’s whole face? Do the eyes match the smile? That combo, my friends, is pure beauty that can’t come from the skin. And you don’t need to look very far to see it in the wild. Just spend some time observing people at restaurants, the airport, or even your local gym.

There are lots of things I could or should be doing right this very minute. I’m traveling for work, so there is an endless list of client tasks I could be cutting into. Well, not endless. Long. Long enough that it would spill onto the back of a page if anyone used the backs of pages anymore. I even promised my client—the company’s CIO—that I would do one of the things on that list tonight. And I will. Probably. Just not now. Because I’m doing this.

I find it somewhat bewildering and often amusing when I clean out the spam filter on my site. The Russian stuff is pretty new, but I guess it could be related to all this Mueller report hullabaloo. Won’t they be disappointed when they figure out how few people actually read my blog?